overthinking
by ephelid
Summary: Always the best way to ruin a date.


When Chrollo texted Phinks to call him in for their next mission, Phinks had no idea it would be the mission of his life. He still suspected nothing when he texted Feitan who told him he wasn't summoned. After all, there wasn't nothing suspicious about it, it wasn't the first time Chrollo gathered smaller groups, for a discreet project.

They were only the four of them, with Shizuku and Shalnark, in this empty street. Phinks tapped his shoes on the pavement to warm him up. He could no longer feel his feet, and the hard wind was biting his legs. This night was freezing cold, windows were sparkling with frost. He shouldn't have went outside just with his tracksuit on.

Chrollo, in the other hand, was comfortably strapped in their warm coat. It looked so good on them. Everything looked good on them. Phinks should have get used to it, but he couldn't. Every time he saw them, Chrollo found a new way to look gorgeous.

He was so distracted he hardly got what the mission was about. Probably stealing a well-guarded trinket that hit their fancy. Chrollo didn't took the time to settle a hide-out, not even a proper meeting point. They were so excited about whatever this thing was. This part about them was adorable.

"... because the patrol lasts around three hours." explained Chrollo, even if Phinks had missed what it as about. "Meanwhile, Phinks and I will wait for you until…"

Phinks didn't hear what Chrollo was saying next, not that he wasn't paying attention this time, but because he couldn't. His heart was pounding, his ears ringing. He couldn't believe what he just heard.

Three hours. He was going to spend three hours alone with danchou.

He was waiting for an opportunity like this for years. Feitan teased him about this constantly : "Just ask them out already", but for Phinks, it was inconceivable. Chrollo would understand they deeply appealed to him, and…

"Phinks…"

…. he'd rather die than letting this happen. No, all he had to do is just to casually…

"...Phinks ?"

… hang out with the boss, being cool as hell, hot as can be, gucci as usual, and just let alchemy doing its job, and then…

"PHINKS !"

He startled. Only Chrollo's voice could have pulled him out of the depth of his day-dream attack. :"I'm here boss, I'm listening, I'm totally listening, what a good plan boss, did you get it guys ?" he shouted without taking his breath.

"The others are already gone, Phinks." said Chrollo patiently. "Are you sure you're okay ?"

"I'm kokally otay." he assured.

"I was asking you what you'd want to do. We have three hours befor us before Shizu and Shal come back. Any plan ?"

" _Okay it's your time to shine think fast say something find something original romantic enough but not too date_ " thought Phinks quickly. "How about we go out diner ?" Okay too bad for the originality.

"I've already eaten."

"Yeah, me too" said Phinks while his stomach rumbled loudly. He punched it and disguised it with a fake cough. "So… er…" Ho damn, he had no other ideas.

"How about a movie ?" said Chrollo looking at their watch - or somebody's watch at least. "There's a cinema out there. We can still catch the 2h screening. We'll be more comfortable than standing out in the street. It's freezing cold." They blowed a little steam cloud onto their hands.

Phinks quacked something that could pass as a yes, and faked a cough again.

"Are you getting cold ? You're coughing a lot."

A movie. They were going out to the cinema. The two of them. It was… a date, right ? Was Chrollo asking him for a date ? They said they were cold, did they mean they want him to heat them up ? Did he missed the hint ? Did they sent the other in a mission just to be alone with him ? No wait. They wouldn't have called them in the first place. Or maybe they were like him ? They don't want to hit on him obviously because they prefer let the charm go its natural way ?

Phinks kinda liked this idea, even if, to be honest, he was perfectly aware he was playing the indifferent guy just in case he got rejected. What, Phinks, in love with Chrollo ? A person so out of his league ? Hahaha, ridiculous, everything was just a funny cross-purpose, the blushing, the flowers, the chocolates at valentine's day, the drunken texts at 3am (oh, why…). Everything just showed how _friendly_ he was to his boss, how _extremely platonically attached_ he was to them, the endless extend of his _raging companionship_ , nothing else.

"Do we sneak in ? Just like when we were young ?" asked Chrollo with a smile as they were approaching the cinema.

This smile, how can anyone say no to it. How can anyone say anything. Phinks felt the words struggling in his throat, and knew he'd be unable to articulate a decent sentence again. "Cough, cough" he uttered.

Chrollo frowned : "Excuse me ?"

Phinks could hardly feel his body but certainly felt his soul leaving it. He was so prepared to fake a cough again he just said "cough." How can this happen. He tried to make up the best he could "Cough… coffin. "Coffin Lake", the horror movie. I've heard it's not so bad." The excuse wasn't so bad either, and he felt a brief relief when Chrollo accepted.

Phinks stole a giant popcorn bucket, both to calm his hunger and to "accidently" grab Chrollo's hand when they'd take some. The movie theater was almost empty at this late hour, and obviously the staff didn't bother to turn on the heating. It was almost as cold as outside. About a dozen of couples were disbanded here and there, and obviously no one was watching, too busy to find their own way to warm each other up. Phinks sat, painfully aware of the kisses noises around him.

He quickly understood why the movie was ignored. It was terrible. The heroine was helpless and was just able to carry around her insufferable scream. They were watching for less than ten minutes when Phinks lost it : "You're on a fucking boat, tosser ! It's ten feet long ! Where do you think you're running, bitch ?" Chrollo's laughter rewarded him. He felt encouraged : "Sorry boss, I thought the movie was better than that" he whispered in their ear. Not too close. But not too far either.

"Don't apologize" said Chrollo with their thin smile ( ho qzrqrfqrfgqt this smile…) "I'm actually having a good time. Did you spot the flying bucket in the background ? A technician may have let it go while splashing the girl."

"Of course I saw it" said Phinks who saw nothing. "And don't even mention the plot."

"What plot ?" laughed Chrollo. Phinks laughed too, in part of relief. For one moment he worried he didn't get anything because he was too distracted again.

It was going well. They were laughing together. Their complicity were increasing. Phinks felt more confident. It was time to let the charm work on it.

He started to ostensibly giggle in his seat. "These cinema seats are always so narrow. It's hard to fit in a body like mine." he dared, stretching his arms over his head. "With all my big muscles and all". In case Chrollo had to be reminded this specific point.

He let his left arm resting upon Chrollo's back seat. Not on their shoulders, of course, haha - would be too obvious. No, just a little inches under the top of the back seat. He could feel the fluffy collar of Chrollo's coat.

"Ho, I'm sorry Phinks, I didn't noticed you were uncomfortable." said Chrollo, moving aside, leaving an empty seat between them. "Here, do you have enough room, now ?"

No, wait. It wasn't what he was intending. He cackled painfully : "Haha… Yeah… Thanks buddy…I mean boss..."

Was it a rejection ? Looked like.. But it's not like he had tried anything to be rejected for. Or did he ? Was he being obvious ? Was Chrollo mad ? Were they mad ? They were certainly mad. Wait, maybe not. Let's see that.

Phinks handed the popcorn bucket to them : "Wa… want some ?" he tried with a helpless smile.

"No thanks, I don't like salty popcorn, I prefer sweets."

The scream at the screen was a perfect reflexion of how Phinks was feeling inside. It was clearly a rejection. What did he do wrong ? Was it a code ? Had he been too salty a few minutes ago when he yelled at the screen girl ? But they laughed ! They prefered sweets. They prefered sweet guys, then ? That's what they were meaning ? They could be sweet too ! How could…

Wait. Chrollo _did_ prefer sweets. Phinks knew that. But he took salty popcorn anyway. How could had he been so stupid. No neglectful. So _selfish_. He robbed the first bucket he saw and didn't think about his boss preferences.

No, he didn't deserve them. Chrollo was so kind, so thoughtful. Look, they even let a room for his ridiculously long legs, how considerate could they be. They were too good for him, and he was the only one who never noticed it before.

Phinks fell apart on his seat. He slowly collapsed, spreading his legs until his knees touched the back seat in front of him. He let his head tilting against the back seat, looking at the ceiling as dark as his thoughts. The popcorn bucket rolled on the floor. He was no longer hungry anyway. The unbearable actress was whipping noisily, that allowed Phinks to sigh out loud unnoticed.

Chrollo leaned on their armrest and whispered : "You know, there is no need to call me "boss" or "danchou" when we're alone. Just call me "Chrollo". I'd like it."

Phinks popped-up on his seat like he was mounted on a spring and turned to them. Chrollo had a little witty smile while they settled in their seat again, so seductive it let like a burning ray on his retina.

Were they flirting ? It was a flirty line, and even if it wasn't, this smile definitely was ! But why the rebuff a little before ? Was it, after all ? Were they sending him mixed messages, or was he having mixed understanding ?

They both cheered when the heroine got slayed and the film ended. They came back to the cold street, the siberian wind freezing Phinks to his core in a couple of seconds. Chrollo shivered and looked at their watch. Phinks was pretty sure it wasn't the same as the one they were wearing before they came in.

"Fortunately, this terrible film didn't last too long. Do we go in a café ? I don't want to be distracted. I want to fully enjoy the time we're allowed to spend together. It's too rare."

By all the gods, prophets and seven dwarves, they were flirting. It was a sure thing now. Phinks couldn't think, any attempt of focus drowned in the blank sound of his flat encephalogram. Phinks gargled something that he hoped was enough to manifest a enthusiastic answer. Chrollo gave him a dazzled look. "Wow, impressive. It's the first time I hear someone doing a keyboard slam with their mouth. I wonder what other fascinating things it can do.."

"I can burp the whole alphabet."

And if the ground didn't opened to engulf him, if time didn't rolled upon itself to erase his entire existence from his birth to this cursed moment, it was the proof that nature was insensitive to the most intense wishes of men.

Beyond the sirens alarms howling in his mind, Phinks heard the Chrollo's confused chuckle. "That's… interesting. I hope I'll never witness that, though. This place looks nice, and when I say "nice", I just mean "warm". We need some alcohol. But please… don't take a beer. Nothing fizzy, anyway."

It hadn't crossed Phinks' mind. He needed something much stronger than a beer.

The double-scotch warmed his body and brought life back to his chest, for want of his soul. He looked in the bottom of the glass his misshapen reflection, that, for once, showed who he was inside. He didn't dare to look up at Chrollo. Would he ever be able to look at them in their magnificent eyes again.

"Tell me Phinks" asked Chrollo nibbling the olive of their martini. "Have you ever dated women ?"

Phinks looked at them, his stupefaction louder than self-loath. What the hell was this question ?

"Er… Yeah, I did. I mean, I'm not into men." Did they noticed he said "not into men" and not "into women"? Did they get the hint ? Did they get it ? Ho, never mind after all. Why was he even still trying. He ruined everything. All his hopes and dreams had been blown away like a candle in the burp. He should just give up.

"I'm surprised" smirked Chrollo. "Don't get me wrong, I'm sure you have a lot of success in love" _Arf, if they knew…_ "But I really wonder how a first date with a woman could go with you. Even the most confident woman may expect her male date to initiate the first kiss. You're so shy I wonder how you can kiss at all."

Phinks recalled all of his half-drunken memories and admitted "Now that you mention it, I've always been kissed first. I'm lucky I like bold women, or I'd still be a virgin." He was feeling light, thanks to alcohol and abandon. It was pleasant to be spontaneous around them, without thinking about the consequences of their acts or words. He had left his life in ruins and now was tasting the bliss of after-life. Chrollo looked like they were having a good time too. That was all that mattered, after all.

"Me too" said Chrollo. "I've always been kissed first. I don't know why, I'm not shy. But every date I've been with seemed to be so eager to kiss me."

"You don't say" muttered Phinks, drinking his last gulp of scotch and waving to the waiter to pour him another one.

"I've even been kissed when I wasn't in a date, and looked like a mess."

"You never look like a mess, you're always so good-looking it's almost annoying."

Chrollo blinked "Ho… thanks." They smiled and blushed a little, but it was probably because of the alcohol. "You know, you look good too."

Phinks almost choked on his second drink :"You're kidding, I'm ridiculous in my track suit. And I'm cold. I can hardly feel my legs."

Chrollo put their chin in their palm and whispered :"I disagree, many things look so good on you."

"Yeah, I bet you'd look so good on me."

"What ?"

"What ?"

Who said that ? Who said this terrible sentence ? It wasn't funny ! It sounded like his own voice. Who was trying to hit on them mocking him ? Phinks looked around, pretty upset, looking for the guilty person.

He got stopped in his research by the warm touch of Chrollo's hand on his cheek. "Can I ask you another question ?"

Phinks was hardly breathing. The hand on his face was warming him up inside better than any alcohol. "...Yes ?"

"When you said, at the theater, that you were uncomfortable and needed room… You had no idea I was rubbing my knee against yours for five minutes, right ?"

"You were ?"

"I was."

Wait what ? How could this happen ? Wait… he was anesthetized by the cold, but not _that_ anesthetized, really ?

He started to rub his thigh to taste his sensitivity, and his hands met Chrollo's one on their way. He didn't feel it. Okay, he was definitely anesthetized.

"And of course" Chrollo pursued "I misunderstood you. I thought you were kindly letting me know you didn't appreciated the touch."

"Tsss...You always overthink everything, it's not good.." said Phinks taking Chrollo's hand.

Chrollo giggled : "You hypocrite."

Phinks pretended he heard nothing while leaning on Chrollo. It would be pleasant to initiate the first kiss, for once.


End file.
